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Discover your love language

1) Words of affirmation

People with this love language value verbal acknowledgments of affection. This includes regular “I love you’s”, compliments, words of appreciation, verbal encouragement, and often frequent digital communication like texting and regular posts on social media encouraging them.

People who give and receive love through words of affirmation tend to be people who notice and care about the smallest details of other people’s lives. For example, they notice their partner’s new haircut. They ask the local cashier how they are doing and more.

By using words of affirmation in your relationship, you are strengthening communication between you and your partner. Doing so, helps your partner feel appreciated and also provides a greater sense of self-worth and motivation in certain scenarios.

2) Quality Time

People with this love language feel most loved when their partner actively wants to spend time with them and is always down to hang out. They specifically love when their partner actively listens to them, constant eye contact and when their partner’s full presence is prioritized in the relationship.

When you’re with your partner, you put down the cell phone, and focus on them solely. When you do that, it touches their heart and makes them feel like they really are important to you – like you were intentionally setting aside time just for them.

Unfortunately, due to technology, quality time with your partners are becoming more scarce. Even when couples are together, they spend their time on the phone deep in thought about something else.

One can promote quality time by setting limits on technology by putting your phone away when you are out with your partner and focus on what they are saying. Even though the discussion may not be something earth-shattering, you are making an important and loving gesture by choosing your partner over technology.

Another way one can promote quality time is by focusing on the quality not the quantity. It is not about the duration of the date but much rather is about the quality of interactions that count. Having a few minutes of meaningful uninterrupted conversation can be an excellent way to show the person you love and care.

3) Acts of services

People who have this love language value when their partner goes out of their way to make their partner’s life easier. It’s the things like buying them medication when there is sick or picking up dry cleaning for them.

This love language is for people who believe that actions speak louder than words which is unlike words of affirmation where people prefer to hear how much they are cared for.

One thing you can do if your partner values act of service as a love language is to pay attention to the small details. For example, what your partner likes to eat or what movie your partner likes to watch. Take notes if you can’t remember.

Another thing you can do if your partner values act of service as a love language is to utilize your strengths. If you understand something your partner does not, offer your services. If you are handier as compared to your partner, you can help carry out chores that your partner is unable to do.

Even if your partner prefers another love language, Acts of Service can be beneficial for every healthy relationship. According to a 2016 study, more than half of all married couples believed that sharing housework is important in a successful marriage.

4) Gifts

People who have this love language feel loved when people give you visual symbols of love. It is not about the monetary value of the gift but more so the thought behind getting the gift for them. People with this style recognise the value of the gift-giving process: careful reflection, the deliberate choosing of the object to represent the relationship, and the emotional benefits from receiving the present. The key is to give meaningful things that matter to them not you.

People with gifts as a love language, take the gift as a gesture of affection as it shows that their significant other was thinking about you while you were not around and wanted to find a way to make you smile. The gift becomes a physical token to savour that moment or feeling. That is to say, it is less about the specific thing but more of what that thing embodies.

5) Physical touch

People with physical touch as their love language feel most loved when they receive physical signs of affection like kissing and cuddling holding hands. Physical touch can be incredibly affirming and serve as a powerful emotional connector for people with this as their love language. This roots back to ones childhood, some people only felt a deep love and affection by their parents when they were held , kissed or touched. These people value the feeling of warmth and comfort that comes with physical touch.

Physical touch means that your partner prefers physical expressions of love over all other expressions such as verbal compliments or gifts. This means that they value both intimate and non-intimate touches, and it should be used to show your partner your love.

One way you can show physical intimate love is by holding hands. Holding hands with your partner can immediately release mood-boosting endorphins. It makes them feel protected, but also for physical connectedness. It is one of the best ways to show your love for your partner.

Another way you can show non-intimate touches is by sitting side-by-side. Sitting close enough to your partner as it is an easy way of saying you love them. Sitting with your hips side-by-side is a way of connecting to your partner.