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7 red flags to watch out for in a relationship

1. Frequent lying

We are all guilty of telling white lies; however, if you notice that your partner is consistently deceiving or getting caught in lies, it is a red flag. These can be small lies, like being dishonest about where they're going — or big lies, like not telling you how much debt they have. Being lied to over and over again can make it difficult to build a solid foundation in the relationship or destroy one that you've already built, which can lead to a shaky future.

2. Constant Put downs

A partner frequently criticizing you or putting you down, even if it's in a subtle or passive-aggressive way, can affect your self-esteem. "This is a form of emotional abuse that can lead to feelings of anxiety and insecurity in the partnership. Examples might sound like: "You're lucky I'm still with you because you'll never do better than me."

3.Controlling behavior and excessive jealousy

Some jealousy here and there can be harmless, and it is pretty common in a relationship! But if your partner starts to become possessive or controlling of your plans, what you wear, who you hang out with, or isolates you from your friends and family, this can be a serious sign of emotional abuse down the line

4.Gaslighting (Manipulation)

It means they turn the blame on you for something they did or hold you responsible for the way they reacted to a situation. "It's just a way to blow you up and make you think you are crazy," says Trombetti. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation meant to leave you feeling insecure and questioning your sanity, so trust your gut if something feels wrong and leave the relationship. For example, if a gaslighter’s partner asks where he’s been when he comes home at midnight, a gaslighter might accuse their partner of caring too much about punctuality, then justify it to themselves by asking, “What’s wrong with telling someone there’s something wrong with them?” It’s his way of making sense of why his partner is upset with his lateness and to put the conversation, and himself, to bed.

5.They describe all their exes as “Crazy”

Talking about old flames is common, especially when you’re first starting to date someone new. Do pay attention to the language your partner uses when discussing those they’ve dated in the past. This sort of perspective deflects any responsibility and demonstrates a lack of respect for the people they once cared for and loves. Whenever they talk about their past relationships, they make themselves seem the victim of their former lovers’ bad behavior.

However you may find out that this isn’t the whole truth. If they have nothing good to say about their exes, they’ll probably have nothing good to say about you.

6.They hold you to a double standard

If you want to see if this red flag applies to you, ask yourself this simple question, “Do they ask me to do things that they don’t do themselves?” A classic example of this can be asking you not to go out to a party but expect you let them to stay out late with their friends. Another example could be expecting you to pay for something when they never pay for anything. Make sure your partner doesn’t ask you to do anything they wouldn’t do themselves.

7.They are incapable of apologizing

No one's perfect and relationships can be tough to navigate sometimes. Maybe you did something wrong once or twice but that doesn't give them license to blame everything that goes wrong in your relationship on you. And in fact, doing that is just hurting the relationship more. Although blaming the other person temporarily gives you respite from your own guilt, sadness, or sense of deficiency, batting this deficiency over to the other side is only going to lead to more distress in your partner, which is no overall gain for the relationship. When they screws up or hurts your feelings, they have a responsibility to own up and say they're sorry.